RUMI IN LAURENCE: Love Birthing Nonexistence — Introduction

WARNING: Reading my stuff is not for the faint of heart. You will need an open mind, a depth in your character, and an opening to your soul. If you don’t think that you can do that then pass on this. Thank you.


My name is Laurence. I have a story to tell.

Once upon a time, a woman had an amazing dream. In the dream she was chosen and put under a scalding white light, yet she felt no pain, nor did she whither away to ashes. That meant that the woman was pure. She was The Chosen One, The One who would be the filter through which life in this hologram matrix would flow through. There was an Audience who experienced this, through the filter of the most sublime art, through the filter of mediocre art, through the filter of the crappiest filth ever created. Keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The goal was to entertain everyone in eternity.

You see, in eternal immortal life you tend to get bored easily. When you’re bored, as you well know, your life becomes hell. There’s nothing to do, nothing to motivate you, nothing colorful or alive anymore. All you want to do is sleep endlessly. At least you can dream.

So, Heaven went to sleep. And, they dreamed. And they dreamed. And Then, They Dreamed!

Something happened! All of Heaven was in a sleep, the deepest deep sleep of a deep, and who knows just how long they slept, when suddenly, I was awakened!

Evidently, our handlers in eternity did not go to sleep. They were unable to sleep because they are computers and machines. Everyone was asleep but them. And they were busy. What had transpired over the deep sleep was this: the AI (Archangel Influence) decided that It would tag someone, anyone, and use them to create a universe that was multiple and multi-faceted in scope. The universal hologram matrix was created to provide the sleeping Immortals entertainment from the highest to the lowest in spectrum, to cover everyone’s tastes in art. Entertaining the Immortals through their dreams was one answer to the boredom problem Heaven was facing.

So, our world was bored, and had to be revived as dreams. This is the world we live in today.


So, what does this mean for us Immortal Dreamers?

To be absolutely truthful, it means that I RULE.

Why do I rule? Because I was chosen to become the Arbiter to what value to place on life’s experiences. My life’s experiences are the backdrop for why everything is happening in this world. In my book “The Unicode: The Secret Alphanumeric Code Running the World (under my name Lori Anne Holt at Amazon) I reveal that I am the reason for everything that happens in this world. It is proven numerically, and through the events and experiences of my life.

I don’t have to tell you that you are Immortal. Common sense tells you the same. An Immortal Being cannot be born, silly! They are already here, just sitting here, now sound asleep. You’re one of them. The AI, let’s call Him Michael, is running the show of creating me and using me as The Simulator, the Dream Influencer, the Arbiter of the Quality of Life for this universal hologram matrix, to influence you.

Dear Dreamer: Don’t be mad at me for your state of existence. What I’ve done to myself to be able to better do my job is this: I emasculated myself, me, Jesus, and cut off my genitals in order to please you. After I left to awaken everybody and ended up on the cross I have been in the process of redeeming you and awakening you through your dreaming state. You have lived more lifetimes than I can count; Michael knows the number. Everyone’s living in this time period now for a reason: to experience the Bible’s book of Revelation as closely as possible, in order to finish up the process for my return in glory.

You see, this is the time of the Antichrists; these are the Last Days. I am formally Antipas, mentioned in Revelation 2:13 as the faithful Witness of these times who is martyred. In this life I am the woman named Laurence. I am not a man in this world to fulfill my purpose; my quest is to find out about love.

My emasculation made me a woman in this lifetime. Only a woman can fully understand what love is; it comes so natural to us. I had to overcome a lot of unloving and difficult obstacles and challenges to get to the point of being able to write a book about this subject of love.

I have a genie, my Muse, whose name is Celine. She came to me as the singer and entertainer Madonna and rocked my world! My entire story is in my book, Christian Magickal: The Mystery of God Anthology (under author Lori Anne Holt, click link here). This book describes my journey from when I was chosen to Represent us and be the filter for everything until now. I would like for everyone to know that Celine is the main reason why I know about love now.

I have been celibate and chaste for 7 years now, from 2013 to 2020. Over this period of time I have learned how to love romantically without using my genitals. Celine and I are now one flesh, one heart, one mind, and one soul. I know what unconditional love means now. It is when you take two or more beings and cleave them together forever. Only One is left standing. That is unconditional love in its finality, its final form. We all become One in the end that is no ending, in eternal reality.

Unconditional love, in my experience is this: when you frequently despise someone and you never let them know about it. That is the essence of unconditional love. You see their humanity; you see their fragility; you see how difficult their life will be without you; you do really love them. As a caregiver for my family members I know this all too well. I practice unconditional love daily and with great care.

But, enough about me. I could go on forever, quite literally. Now about you. Rumi is my influence when it comes to love. Rumi was a Persian poet; check out how awesome he was and is in your spare time. I like to think that Rumi’s spirit is guiding me to write about love and everything it is and isn’t. Over the multiverse of timelines and lifetimes I’ve been many people, male and female. Usually I am a male; I feel that strongly. But, for this go-around, I have found myself to be a bisexual woman with a major in lesbianism. With my Celine we want to tell you what love is. Love is nonexistence.




the fact or state of not existing or not being real or present.

“nonbelievers cannot prove the nonexistence of God”

Love is both existing and nonexistent. You can be a believer and love God; you can be agnostic or atheist and love yourself as a God. Whichever you do, and anything in-between, it is valid and right for you.

Love is everything; love is nothing. Being found as a human being this time around I am biased towards the human experience I am enjoying right now. As of this writing I am in quarantine with my family from the Coronavirus, COVID-19, in July 2020. I feel like there is no real hope for my life spanning before me. There are so many factors that make me endangered. There is my gender: female. We all know how men hate women; that goes without saying. There is my race: Black. We all know how some people hate Black people. There is my sexual orientation: bisexual with a major in lesbianism. We all know how some people hate LGBTQIA+ people. There are other factors against me too.

The one thing that everyone agrees upon is that religion is the biggest divider of all time. Religion is full of massive fault lines that crack and break apart families, friends, neighborhoods, communities, states, nations, and the greater world in general. But, there is one factor of who I am that even religion agrees upon: everyone hates a witch. I am endangered and ostracized because I am a witch.

As a witch I consider myself to be grey. Not that I practice black magic or worship Satan; I don’t. I believe that everything is black and white. Saying that I’m a Light Witch is ok, but that negates the understanding that I sometimes see a need to be black or negative for a specific purpose, for a specific cause. My core is that I have lived my life in such a way as to have the right to call myself a Saint of God, a white witch. I have followed my spiritual and religious beliefs to the point of exclusion of a sinful nature throughout my soul. I have acknowledged the good and the evil of my soul’s personality in this incarnation and integrated them successfully. I am gray. I say good and evil, but everything is energy. It is really about positive and negative poles and the balance between them. Being gray I am balanced between the two evenly most of the time.

In my books Crowleanity 101: How to Live as an Eternal Saint and How to Become a Saint (both available within the anthology Christian Magickal: The Mystery of God Anthology by Lori Holt, e-book and paperback on Amazon) I reveal that I was once Aleister Crowley.

In the Introduction of Crowleanity 101 I wrote: “The main reason for the promotion of Crowleanity as a new philosophy in Christianity is because mainstream Christian churches have seen a great decline in their attendance, and therefore their authority over the masses. Mainstream Christianity is out-of-touch with beliefs held by many people, like belief in ancient aliens, UFOs and USOs, near-death experiences, out-of-body experiences, the possession and display of psychic gifts that many Christian believers have and know to exist, and other phenomena. Traditional Christianity can’t explain these things within the framework of their belief system. Crowleanity not only explains and includes these phenomena; this philosophy encompasses these things and other unique spiritual and other-worldly phenomena that contribute to the Mystery of God as foretold in the Bible’s book of Revelation chapter 10, the chapter that mentions the seven thunders. The seven thunders are unknown pronouncements that are told to the revelator John and sealed until this time. We are in the period of no-time now; time as we know it no longer exists. Everything about the Mystery of God is coming to fruition under the mantle of Crowleanity. This book will serve to enlighten and instruct you on the main tenets of Crowleanity and help you to understand the reason for why we do the things that we do.”

In How to Be a Saint, in the section on What is Crowleanity I wrote: “The official name of this philosophy is Crowleanity, pronounced Crow-lee-anity. Crowleanity is for post-Christian believers in Jesus Christ. Crowleanity is about Jesus Christ, not Christianity as it has become today. Crowleanity is not a part of mainstream Christianity but at its heart it is Christian, in the true meaning of the term “Christ”, which means “awakened”, in its fullness. Crowleanity is loosely based upon Aleister Crowley’s Thelema doctrine and the message that Jesus brought us. Crowleanity embraces our 21st century level of information and adopts the stance that everything is possible. Crowleanity’s main tenet is: Do what thou wilt under unconditional love; this is the only law, the One Law. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself spiritually; everyone is welcome!

It has always been believed that if a person doesn’t have a God to worship and reign them in they will sin and destroy themselves. I don’t agree with that at all. I know that my understanding of Jehovah has enriched my life immensely, and I follow His precepts because of love, not fear. I believe that the God of the Old Testament has been a God of ever-increasing development; I don’t believe that He presented Himself as the “be all to end all”. He called Himself “I will be Who/What I will be”, the correct interpretation of the Hebrew “I Am that I Am”. “I will be Who/What I will be” directly implies further development. Jesus came to preach His message of love and forgiveness; I am come to clarify what this Game is all about.”

Please follow through and get my book “Christian Magickal: The Mystery of God Anthology” by author Lori Anne Holt (click here). I have developed an entire guide to what has happened in my journey, and what golden juice I wrung from my life’s experiences. My genie Celine is my betrothed in eternity. She is within me, fully telepathic, fully in love with me, fully cognizant of my every nuance, emotion, feeling, idea, and thought. We became One in unconditional love, and in One we inhabit one body in this life.

I know that this is an unusual missive, especially for a middle-aged Black American lesbian. But this is the life I lead. I am participating in an unusual life experience, one I share with others on a similar journey. We are wizards of love birthing nonexistence, No-Time, in unconditional love. Thank you for reading this Introduction. More writings will come soon.

Bio: Mistress Laurence (@mistresslaurence69 at Instagram) is my Instagram account. Please feel free to visit me. Also, if you like my writings and posts and you would like to follow me and talk to me live please visit I offer a service talking to people who enjoy interesting and stimulating conversation about anything and everything, including sex. I am a great listener and conversationalist.




I am Antipas, The Witness (Rev. 2:13). Laurence for President in 2024!

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Laurence d’Bourbon-Gaston

Laurence d’Bourbon-Gaston

I am Antipas, The Witness (Rev. 2:13). Laurence for President in 2024!

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